I HATE DIETS!
I LOVE food. I love the texture. I love the taste. I love my tummy feeling full.
When I was about 12 my mum put me on a milkshake diet. I really didn't understand what was happening or why. It just seemed like torture, but I did what I was told. Eventually my mum get up when I started to complain of constant stomach cramps. Honestly, I was probably hungry and was new to the feeling.
The next time I controlled what I ate, was a sponsored 24h fast at school. I remember sitting on my bedroom floor with my back against the door thinking about how hungry I was and the feeling in my stomach. Which I suppose was the point, when the school was raising awareness of famine in Africa.
When I started weightlifting I subscribed to bodybuilding magazines. At 5'8", Cory Everson was the same height as me and my idol. This was poignant because I was much taller than most of my friends at school and being overweight I did stand out. I wanted to look lean and fit like her and started my series of low fat, high protein, bland diets that were fit for bodybuilders. 6 small meals a day and a strong yearning for anything that had taste! It was super hard on my mind and my body. I was working out really hard and I had a personal trainer to help me lift more weights and get bigger. I just craved everything and I had to trust will power to get me through. Maybe I was weak but I just couldn't hack it for longer than 8-12 weeks. Before I gave in I used to search more magic diet pills and would take anything that promised to get me lean. Before it was banned, I had pseudo-ephedrine off the shelf. I remember suffering from palpatations and increased anxiety. That was when I was at Uni. Although it was too much for me I still have much respect for bodybuilders because their perserverence and will power.
Post Uni, I fell in love and started to have a bit more respect for myself and my body. Hmm...dare I say I let myself go? By the time I got married I definately was a chunky monkey but feeling quite happy in life.
My body however didn't thank me. I was eating crap, lots of processed foods and I was eating to fill my tummy and didn't think about quality of the nutrients I was putting in my body. I don't think we had any fresh fruit or vegetables in our shopping trolley. I still trained and was a part time aerobics instructor when I was studying for a PGCE. I squeezed into size 16 sportswear, what was I thinking! Slowly my body screamed out with mind blowing migraines. I didn't know what they were at the time but I had them 3-4 times a week and they were disabling.
I suffered for 3-4 years before the migraines were diagnosed. From then on I wanted to know how to prevent them and started to control my diet again. At the start the focus was to become healthy. I cut out the usual triggers and it didn't work. By chance CURVES had a promotion and there was a free copy of their diet and exercise book with a magazine. I did the quiz and decided I was 'carb sensitive' so I loosely followed their plan. I cut the carbs and lost quiet a lot of weight quite quickly. In fact the Atkins diet was en vogue so to many colleagues just thought I was on the Atkins diet. My migraines were reduced to a premenstrual window of time where I became more susceptible. This was my last diet before trying to get pregnant. I was was training and was in the best shape of my life so far. I thought the battle had finally been won and I had the magic formula.
During my first maternity leave I was determined to lose the baby weight. I didn't have childcare or friends to help out so I worked out in my living room with resistance bands and what every I could get hold of. Day time telly broadcasted the Biggest Loser and I followed their progress and was really inspired by them. I lost most of the baby weight but when my baby was 5 months I returned to work and struggled to do balance life. As the months went on I was giving all my energy to being a mum, being a teacher, being a wife and on top of that I was part way through studying for a MAed at University. I was on the verge of a break down, I needed help and I started to see a shrink.
I re-juggled my priorities in life and persevered. I did try Paul McKenna "I can make you thin". I watched the TV show and bought the book. It did change my perspective on food but it wasn't an overnight success. I still think this was an important part of my dieting journey, but my mind was just not at the right place at the time. The things I learnt were to
-really enjoy my food
-Stop linking food with emotions and using it to punish myself
-Eat when I am hungry and stop when I was full
-that no food is banned. Eat what I like.
I stopped obsessing about food! It was a release. I was free, even though I didn't really lose any weight, I won the battle. Definitely worth a read.
A few years later I had my second child and when he was being weaned I looked at my diet again to help me shift a few pounds. I didn't want to omit any food groups and started a low GI diet. Although I always knew about healthy foods I must admit I never really ate them. I thought that diet foods had to be bland and boring and hunger was expected. It was online and I paid my subscription so I was determined to follow the plan closely. I had my shopping list with lots of new foods that I had never had before and I followed my meal plans. I never did get hungry, when I did feel peckish I would have a piece of fruit or something. The meal plan was all calorie counted and there were lots of options to find something that I liked. I was also starting my swimming at this point and it helped me to lose the rest of the baby weight. It was refreshing to eat new types of foods that were not hard to prepare. The food was wholesome and packed with nutrients. Although I was on a diet I didn't feel like I was. My body was having a treat and I started to feel really good.
At the moment I am not on a 'diet' but I do eat when I am hungry, I drink plenty of water, I eat smaller portions than before, I have treats and enjoy them and I make sure I eat fruit. I hate to be boring but you do need to do exercise! I burn up to 700 an hour when I train. An hour of clearing my head and a treat at the end makes it worth it. I hate to eat just tiny portions. As I said, I love food. More incentive to work harder. I hate feeling hungry so I avoid it by EATING! Instead of feeling guilty and having rubbish food that you discount, have plenty of healthy snacks that you like that you can get hold of easily. Put a list on the kitchen door if necessary. I try to plan my meals in advance but with a busy family it doesn't always happen. However when I am out and about I make sure I have water to prevent headaches and buy snacks and have a rest when I need to.
So yes I still have to think about what I eat and some days I eat better than others. The main thing is that I am eating to fuel my body with what it needs rather than to look thinner. If you diet to be thinner you get stuck in a trap. You diet, you become thinner, you stop dieting, you get bigger, you diet......I think you get what I'm saying.
What is your best and worse experiences of diets? Please share them with me.
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